ChainLetters are Dumb!! 
(Thanks Kris!)

Hello, my name is none of your business. I am suffering from seven 
rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being 
mauled by squirrels, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion 
chain letters sent tome by people who actually believe that if you 
send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a 
potato growing out of her forehead will be able to raise enough 
money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off 
to the traveling freak show. Do you honestly believe that Bill 
Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" e-mailto 
$1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down 
this page and make a wish, I'll meet the girl (or guy) of my dreams 
tomorrow! What a bunch of junk. 

So basically, this message is directed to all the people out there 
who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.
Maybe the evil letter leprechauns will come into my house and write 
"I'm a moron" on my forehead in permanent marker in my sleep for not 
continuing the chain which was started by a knight of the round table 
and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower
and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of 
World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. If 
you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly 
amusing. I've seen all the "sendthis to 50 of your closest friends, 
and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive 
a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. It's 
getting old. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're 
actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's 
your own lack of good judgement. 

THE FOURBASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:

Chain Letter Type 1 (scroll down)





Make a wish!!! No, really, go on and make one!!!







Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!






Wish something else!! No, I'm sorry, we're out of ponies at the time being!!




Have you forgotten why you're scrolling yet?


STOP!!!! 


Wasn't that fun? :) 


Hope you made a great wish :) 


Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. 

First of all,if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, 
you will be kidnapped by ninja elves and thrown off a high building into 
a pile of manure. It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those 
fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:

*Send this to 1 person: One person will be annoyed with you for sending 
them a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be annoyed with you for sending 
them a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be annoyed with you for sending
them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.  

*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be annoyed with you for sending 
them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.  

Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!  

Chain Letter Type 2: 
  Hello,and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving 
little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, 
and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time 
ou pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless 
Armless Goatless Boy from BaklaliviatatlaglooshenFund. Oh, and remember, 
we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a 
complete load of junk. So go on reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 
47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 
people, you will die instantly!!! Thanks again!!



Chain Letter Type 3: 
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is 
absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not 
as many sad email addicts with nothing better to do. So this is how it works:

1. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something 
horrible will happen to you like:

*Bizarre Horror Story* #1 Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school 
on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. 
She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, 
was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poop, and went flying out 
over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died too. 
This Could Happen To You!!!

*Bizarre Horror Story* #2 Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain 
letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was crushed by 
an anvil that was dropped by a plane that just happened to be flying 
directly above him. This Could HappenToYou Too!!!

Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this 
letter to all of your loser friends,andeverything will be okay.


Chain Letter Type 4: As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. 
Send it to every one of your friends.

Friends Blah, Blah, Blah, 
Friends, Blah, Blah, Blah. 
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants 
his wish of being rich to come true. 

Now pass this on! If you don't, no one will like you for as long as you
live.I mean it, as long as you live. 

The point being? 

*If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you friendless 
or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.

*If it's funny, send it on. Don't annoy people by making them feel guilty 
about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant 
for 27 years, whose only chance of living is the 5 cents per letter he'll 
receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right?

***Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll find all your socks 
missing tomorrow morning!!

Dumbass...